Archives for March 2005

Carrie Underwood was AWESOME last night. It reminded me of the break through performance of Kelly when we all realized how awesome she was. I watched it again on TIVO this morning. I can’t believe they are having to revote tonight. I hope it doesn’t mess up anything.

Lexi has been cranky this afternoon. Not sure what is going on there. My grandmother and uncle’s family is coming down from Maryland today. I can’t wait. I’m taking off the rest of the week from work to spend time with them.

Lexi giggled for the first time yesterday. She did it when I clucked my tongue…or whatever you call that. Then Mom was holding her and Dad was talking to her and she was giggling at him. It is amazing how much stuff she is starting to do. She started grabbing at her rings on her car seat the other day. Now she plays with them a lot. In fact, she tries to grab and just about anything she can get her hands near. Feeding time is quite interesting as she tries to attack my hands to get the spoon in her mouth. I think my hunch that she is lactose intolerant/milk sensitive/whatever might be true. I gave her a double-dose of rice cereal with formula and her cheeks and chin turned bright red, similar to how they would do if I ate a lot of dairy. It will really be a pain if she is. Not a pain for me but I would feel bad for her if she couldn’t have milk or ice cream. I just couldn’t live without them. Although I have been for about 3 months now. I never thought I would do that. Hmm.

I was sick a lot of the week with some kind of runny nose thing. Lexi had a fever Thursday night. I took her to the dr on Friday. She has an ear infection. She cried bloody murder when the dr looked at her right ear. I’ll be so happy when winter is over and the sickies go away.

Emma broke my heart this morning. She crawled in bed with us in the middle of the night last night. I woke up to her standing beside the bed, breathing in my face. I just plopped her between us, too tired to take her back to her room. I got ready in our bathroom while she still slept and Scott watched Lexi (who got up at 6am) in the living room. She woke up as I was getting dressed and she said, Getting ready for church? I said, no, I’ve got to go to work today. She said, Why? I said I had to go to meetings. She didn’t say anything except she had a scowl on her face. About broke my heart. I could never come into the office every day anymore. It would break me down too much. Knowing that Scott has them now is just fine in my book. It stresses him about a bit but at least I know they are at home in a comfortable surrounding and they are getting good quality Daddy time. Not many Daddy’s get to do that or even would do that but they are lucky.

Last night Scott ran out to the store to get me some peanut butter so I could eat some dinner ( I’ve been addicted to pb&j’s since I was 5). He called and said my old pastor Loran Livingston was on the radio. I flipped off Emeril and turned him on and I about cried when I heard his voice. I went to my old church from about 10 years old to 19 or so. It was my best spiritual years I’ve had in my life. I learned so much from our pastor. He is one of the best preachers I’ve ever heard. I started going to our church now when Scott and I got engaged. I wanted to keep going to my old church but I knew Scott didn’t like such a big congregation and he would never make the 30 minute drive to it 3 times a week. I miss it though and hearing his voice just made me sad. And I’m not sure if it made me more sad that I wasn’t going there or that I’m not the same person I used to be. Spiritually speaking, mostly. I certainly have lived a “Christian life” since then. I look to God for direction in our life, I pray for our daily lives and pray for special concerns. I go to church one or more times a week. But I don’t read the bible like I used to and certainly don’t have a consistent prayer life like I used to. And I think I’m missing a lot of the joy I used to have. I think I’m a little more cynical than I used to be, a little more subdued, a little more sarcastic, a little less happy. Several times, especially in the past two years I’ve gotten quite upset about this. I see that change and I hate it. Sometimes I hate the way I am now. I want to blame it on being around Scott and picking up on his attitude sometimes but in the end, I know I’m responsible for my own behavior, actions and attitude. I should be bringing him up not letting him drag me down. I make it sound like Scott is horrid and he isn’t but he knows he gets angry a little too quickly, he is irritable a lot of times, he makes sarcastic remarks and unfounded statements just to get a rise out of someone. We’ve talked about it and he knows it. And he doesn’t like it either. He gets it from his dad. What can you say? I don’t know. I’m ready to change. I’ve prayed for God to give me my joy back. I know He’ll do his part if I just do mine. I just wonder if going back to my old church would give me that umph I need to do it.

Aahhhh! Mario is gone! Very sad news for me and my sister today! What a bummer. At least Nikko got in. Not a bad replacement.

Lexi rolled over for the first time back to front on Saturday morning. I actually missed the first time. I had been thinking she was on the verge of doing it the past week or so. I left her in the floor in her room while I went across the hall to brush Emma’s hair. I looked back in the room to check on Lexi and she was already on her tummy. Much clapping and yelling for her, but we technically missed the first one. I put her back on her back and she did it again right away. She’s been doing it a lot ever since. Thank goodness she’s not trying to do it when we put her in her crib at night.

Scott got the windows in the addition on Saturday and it was kind of a shock to my system. It was weird to have it look like an actual room for some reason. This Saturday he’ll be moving our existing french doors to the new opening to the outside. That will be even more weird.

I got Lexi’s picture taken at The Picture People on Sunday. It will be the last time I use them. I gave them two chances and that’s it. They were 30 minutes late for our appointment and the baby was about to go to sleep and she wanted to do all these “required” poses and I just wanted a picture of her on her tummy looking up at the camera. She finally realized how fussy she was and said, ok, let’s just do what you want to get done. The one of her came out really good but we got pictures one with me and her and one with Scott and her and they were ok but the only reason I got any prints of them is because I had two coupons for free 8x10s.

I have some nasty nose cold thing. I feel yucky so I’m going to bed.

I am at work today and I always must take a minute or two to write. I feel like I actually have time to do it here because I don’t have dishes or laundry hanging over my head when I have a skinny minute to spare.

ANYWAY, I haven’t commented too much on American Idol but I have to say I’m very pleased with the top 12. The only thing I would have changed is traded Lindsey for Nikko but since we had to have 6 and 6, I guess it is ok. Mario is my pick to win the thing. He’s just so…cool. I don’t know. He’s confident without being cocky, has great moves and knows how to perform and of course he can sing! Not the best singer probably, but he just has a really cool personality to me. The first time my sister and I saw him in auditions, we rewinded TIVO like 5 times just listening to his audition. Other favorites…I love Carrie but she’s got to get her personality back before she loses this whole thing to a bunch of her country ballads. I think Anthony is a cutie and can sing, but he’s a little forgetable in the words of Simon. I really like Scott Savol but I don’t think he’s got what it takes to go all the way. I really like Mikalah but she just “annoys” too many people to win. If Anwar keeps getting better than what he did this week, he might have a chance…that was awesome. Constantine and Bo Bice don’t do anything for me. Maybe it’s just their style, I’ve just never been into it. Vonzell has an awesome voice but she’s just too… I don’t know….cheesy or something. Nadia gets on my nerves and Jessica is an awesome singer but I don’t think she’s original enough to win. So, like I said, Mario is my pick.

Lexi actually slept until 2:00am last night. I think it might be a record. I fed her at 6:30pm and then gave her cereal about 7:30 and fed her a little more. She went to sleep a little after 8:00pm and then slept until 2 and then again until 5:30. She was up for the day at 6:45am. I’m hoping she keeps moving that 2am feeding out until all she has is maybe a 4am and then gets up at 7. That would be awesome. I could actually sleep from 10pm-4am. That would be 6 hours straight. I haven’t had that in 4 months now. I knew I would miss my sleep but I REALLY miss my sleep. I do have to say I haven’t been as out of it like I was with Emma. The lack of sleep doesn’t bother me as much as it is just hte fact I miss it.

Lexi I think has found her tongue. That’s an odd statement but she has been talking up a storm lately and she keeps sticking her tongue out and stuff when she talks. It’s really cute. I think she is trying to roll over too because she really enjoys lying on her back and scooting around.

I think it’s been hard for Emma lately with me sending her to MawMaw’s a couple times a week. It breaks my heart when she tells me she doesn’t want to go but I don’t really have a choice about it unless I just quit. Which I have been tempted to do but Scott encourages me that I have a great job and I would be crazy to get rid of it. The good news is Emma seems to enjoy herself while she is over there. Sometimes she comes back with a crazy demeanor but nothing we don’t straighten out really fast. Last night, I had her on the stool in the kitchen helping me cook and she just reached out and hit me. WHAT?! She went straight to time out for that one. IL’s were even there and I didn’t let that stop me. We started with SuperNanny style time outs about a week ago. We were doing spankings and I truly believe in them but they were too often and not seeming to do much good. Emma hates the time outs and it seems to have more of a purpose. The spankings would come too swiftly and without much explanation. With the time-outs, it gives us a minute to calm down, get her to time-out, explain while she’s there and calm down even more while she’s in there. She cries a lot while she’s in there but is absolutely perfectly fine the second she’s up.

The other day we were in the car on the way to Mom’s and she said the moon was out. I said, is the moon out? She said, Uh-huh, yep, sure is! It was the cutest thing ever. I’m not sure where she gets “sure is” from but she’s starting to say it more often and it’s so funny. Sometimes when we ask her to get something, she’ll say, Sure! It’s really cute.

We have 3 walls framed in the addition. Scott still has to put plywood on the outside of the third wall. Our two windows are supposed to be in today. I think he’s going to try to put them in tomorrow. I can’t believe we’re actually doing it. I have very little vision of what the inside of the room is going to look like. I think Scott wants to build a bench seat in front of the windows and I would like to build shelving around it for all the toys. And I would like to put that chaise lounge of Mom’s in there but I’m not sure where it will fit in. We’ll see. I’m sure it will change a zillion times.

I forgot to mention I bought Lexi a Bumbo Baby Sitter Seat and then Anne reminded me and I had to post a pic.

Lexi is 4 months old today. She is 12lbs7oz, 23″. The dr. thought she looked really good. She has a little runny nose but he didn’t go for antibiotics because her ears look fine and she hasn’t run a fever. She has this scabby dry skin on her forehead that has started bleeding. He said it was due to her cradle cap and told me the shampoo and cream to use for it. I hope it works. She was so good in there. Smiling at dr and never cried until they gave her her shots and then she wailed.

Bachelorette REALLY stunk last night. I stayed up for 2 1/2 freakin’ hrs to see that crap.

Emma sang her abc’s all the way through by herself for the first time Saturday night. We were so proud of her and kept clapping and you could tell she was so happy we were happy for her. She said it a gazillion times. She started to sing it and got to J and I said to Heather in the car, wow, that’s the farthest she’s gotten it. I think we may have sang it with her a time or two and she belted the thing out by herself.

Lexi is Miss Wiggle Worm as I like to call her. She WILL NOT sit down. She wants to be held standing looking out or she wants to be standing in your lap. She will buck her legs trying to get up.

I am so tired. Lexi really needs to start sleeping better.

I am a little stressed today about having to work. Emma keeps telling me she doesn’t want to go to MawMaw’s in the mornings that Scott works. Then today I pick her up and she won’t quit crying because she didn’t get a nap. I just felt like the worst mother. I think I am going to try to get her at 2 instead of waiting until 4 or 5 to get her and then she can get her nap at 3 for sure and it really doesn’t take away from my work in the afternoon.