#3?

There have been times in the past few months where I’ve asked Scott if he wanted to have another baby which is normally followed by a resounding "No!".  And normally when people ask me if we’re having any more children, I promptly respond, "No!" as well.  Which, why is it that so many people ask me that?  I don’t mind it at all but I’m just curious why everyone is so interested in whether we are planning another baby or not.  Anyway.  Number 3 has never really been in the plans.  I’ve always wanted two children and the same for Scott.  But in the past few months, I think if Scott even whispered a mention of wanting a third, I’d be on that train fast.

I keep convincing myself if we were to have a third, we’d most certainly have a boy because there’s no way I’d have to deal with lovingly raise another Princess-crazed little girl or pay for 2 more prom dresses or pay for one more wedding.  Although I know to be wiser because my previous pastor I think thought the same thing and he has four daughters.

But C is pregnant, due in December and at least 4 different girls my age at church just had babies.  Last night at a home party I went to, I spent most of my time holding one of those babies.  And she spit up on me and I had to hold her the whole time.  And yet, I didn’t mind a bit.  And while sometimes I look at them and think THANK GOD I’m not doing that again, there are other times where I wouldn’t mind rocking another baby, watching another baby go through all of those milestones so quickly it makes your head spin and honestly, I wouldn’t mind nursing another baby.  And I could have my little Tucker.  Or Ian.  Or Gabe.

But then I remember all the endless nights, the countless diapers, the feeding of EVERY meal, the guessing of cries, the endless spit-up, the poop, oh the poop.  I remember all that and think do I really want to start over with that.  And that’s 4 more years older I’ll be when all the kids are out of the house.

And Lord, how would I work with three??  I seriously doubt I could continue working at home like I do now.  Of course, Emma would be in school next fall so maybe that work.

And we certainly don’t have the room here.  We’d have to move and really I just don’t want to do that. 

But then I think of decorating a blue room and buying cute, striped polos and khaki shorts and watching Scott and a little boy do man stuff and watching a little boy grow into a man and I think I might just be willing to stretch myself.

And just for the record, I’m NOT pregnant and in fact I’m on meds right now where I’m not allowed to even think of getting pregnant.