Archives for November 2007

OK, so I know The Bachelor is over, over, over.  But of course everywhere is buzzing about what happened this week.  I’ve decided to post my official report on what I think happened.

First off, Jenni and many others seem to think it was a tie.  Just pick between the two.   Why couldn’t you pick?  Well, I think he did pick.  He picked DeAnna.  Jenni was the runner up.  He asked DeAnna’s father to come to town.  If we was going to propose to anyone, it was going to be DeAnna.

Secondly, I’m standing by my first opinion to say I kind of respect the guy.  I also pity him.  I honestly don’t think he was being misleading or was trying to dupe these girls into sleeping with him.  I think he was honest when he told DeAnna he could see himself with her for the rest of his life and that she was perfect. I think Brad’s expectations and view of love is all screwed up but based on that he made the best decision he could.  Although I DON’T AGREE WITH HIS DECISION.

This is why…

I believe Brad walked into this experience expecting at the end of 6 weeks to be totally in love, 100% sure that he could propose and marry the girl he met.  I think if the show has any fault it is the pressure and expectation for an engagement.  Except for Trista and Ryan of course ;).  And simply the expectations is where Brad messed up.  If I think back to 6 weeks into dating my husband thirteen years ago and I was given the choice either get engaged and married or walk away, I would have with no doubt walked away.  And just for the record, my mother and I were talking about this and she agreed…six weeks into dating my dad 30 some years ago, she didn’t know either.  At that point, you know you like person, you could imagine yourself with them for the rest of your life, but you don’t know 100% sure that you could marry the person.  Of course there are exceptions!  But in most cases, six weeks into dating anyone, you can’t expect to know for sure.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t fall into love after that.  Love isn’t about butterflies and feelings you get at first.  Love is about finding someone you really like being around and finding someone you could spend the rest of your life and yes maybe there are butterflies but love is built on that and is so much more than a feeling six weeks after you meet someone.

I think Brad was a little naive in that.  I really think he thought he would know without a doubt after 6 weeks and he felt like by keeping her, he was leading her on. 

I feel so bad for DeAnna.  She gets it. She knows she could spend the rest of her life with him and was willing to work towards a true relationship with him and he just left her.  I don’t think she realizes his line of thinking and is so hurt can’t think through it all.

Brad needs some counseling I think.  Seriously.  He needs to see what true love is made of and give DeAnna a chance.  He says he doesn’t know the formula for love and that’s obvious.  Let’s just hope if he gets it straightened out, DeAnna will give him another chance.

One last point I want to make about the question why did he buy a ring and why did he invite her father?  If he was just playing with DeAnna, that would have been really hurtful and manipulative of him to do.  But in his line of thinking that I’m theorizing, I think he really wanted it to work.  I think he could see that life with her.  But with the wrong expectations, I think he wanted it to be 100% and he was waiting until the very last minute to look her in her eyes and see if he could muster it to 100% and he couldn’t.  AND THAT’S FINE.  You don’t have to know at 6 weeks.  BUT he had that expectation that he should know.  And he didn’t.  So he did take the high road and let her go.  Listen, I’m not saying it was the right thing to do but with his wrong expectations, it was the right thing to do.

‘

Man, that was a great After the Rose.

Trista and Ryan! I love those two!! Byron and Mary! So glad they are both doing well. The stats for this show aren’t great but good to see some of them have a chance.

I really liked Jenni even more after this show. She obviously had been genuine on the show. She completely restated what I did–and everyone else–that they should have dated instead of completely said goodbye. In another vein, my heart goes out to Jenni’s family with the passing of her grandmother. That must have been hard watching the video of her.

Poor DeAnna (she looks great tonight!). She wonders why they couldn’t date either. She is obviously hurt, sad and mad all together.

Man, Brad was put through the fire tonight. Chris or the girls didn’t let him off the hook. I think this might be the first time one of the bachelors was actually booed when he came out.

I don’t think his answer was very clear on why he didn’t at least date DeAnna. And the more I listen to him, the more I think he had imposed the “engagement or nothing” rule on himself. Apparently he thought 6 weeks of surreal dating should have shown him true love. I don’t know, I guess if he had a gut feeling she wasn’t the one, I have to respect him for that. But I’m not sure if it was a gut feeling that made him stop or he was looking for butterflies that maybe are too idyllic.

I think for me walking away, I think for the most part I respect the guy. I think he was genuine in saying he felt like he was taking the high road. Idealistic or not he felt in his heart he didn’t have what he wanted and he walked away instead of leading her on for the sake of the show or her feelings.

But I wanted him so badly to ask her for a second chance. And I feel so bad for DeAnna. For him to say no again and then to say I’ll miss you more than you know as his last words. She’s got to be hurting.

I agree with the girl in the crowd..THIS was the most dramatic Bachelor moment ever.