The Hooker Upper

Last night a coworker and myself went across the hotel parking lot to Steak ‘n Shake to get milkshakes and also for him to act as bodyguard in case my blogger friend I met last night turned out to be an axe murderer.  More on that in another post.

We sit down in a booth and are clear there is going to be another person joining us.  A young, jovial waitress greets us.  She asks what we want and we’re clear we’re just getting milkshakes.  She pulls out her notebook, turns to Chris and says “What would you like?”  Maybe it’s just because we’re Southern but I think not because we’ve experienced all week that the waiter always asks for the ladies’ orders first.  So Chris pauses, looks at me and the waitress finally figures out that I should order first.  We both order and then the waitress is very excited that Chris was being nice and then mumbles about him getting his groove on and walks away.  Whaa?  Chris and I look at each other like did she just say what I think she just said?  I have my rings on but Chris holds his hand up and shows that he took his watch and ring off when we got back from work.  OMG.  Chris!  Chris is married with a boy and a girl on the way and obviously I’m married with two kids.  Suddenly he’s the single guy buying dessert for a married woman in a Steak ‘n Shake in a hotel parking lot.  OMG.

So she comes back and I hope she ignores what just happened.  We’ll never see her again and we’re in another state.  No.  First thing she does is look at me and asks “I don’t mean to be nosy but is he your boyfriend?” After I recovered from the shock of the question, I emphatically explain that no, we’re both married with kids.  She continues though and directs her question at Chris, “How come you let her order first then?”  Chris explains he was being a gentleman and maybe it’s because we’re from the South (but I don’t think so, Indy folks).  She goes on about how lucky Chris’ wife is and how she loves that her husband is a gentleman.  So we got that squared away.  Whew.

So Erin and her daughter Alice show up.  Alice is 8 months old.  The first thing the waitress says?  Aw, “She’s so cute but she’s too old for my son.  Here, look at this picture.”  She pulls out her cell phone and shows us a picture of a little boy probably 4 or 5 months old.  Chris and I look at each other and die laughing.  I say “Did she just try to hook her baby up?  I am so blogging about this.”

So if you need hooked up, there is a waitress in Indy that would be ECSTATIC to help you out.