Oh, of course I dedicated to doing these recaps of North Rock Hill services right before we started a series on sex! But I have to say this morning’s start was dare I say fun? I know, I know. Sex in church…gasp! Sex talks in church that were fun…gasp! It just doesn’t sound right!! What are you people doing over there?? Aren’t you learning about JESUS?!
But today’s intro was so awkward, filled with lots of nervous laughing but just some downright funny, relatable stuff. And he only covered attraction today! So here we go.
In this series, he’s covering Song of Songs. Many like to say it’s allegorical for our relationship with Christ but it’s clear in latter chapters that not ALL of it is allegorical. As Chris said, there is some stuff in there I just don’t wanna be doing with Jesus! But yes, it has some allegorical elements.
Cast of characters:
- King Solomon – writer and participant
- Unnamed Shulammite – she is the beloved
- Young Jerusalem women – these are the Beloved’s friends. As Chris pointed out, a man doesn’t just court a woman, he courts her AND all her friends.
Solomon and this girl are not together at this point. They’ve met and there is attraction.
v4 – This is not his bedroom, this is a place where the King hangs out. She’s basically asking him to take her to his favorite place (although Heather pointed out that probably IS his bedroom)
v6 She is a peasant/servant. She’s not fair skinned and plump like a princess would be. Yet, she has captured the King’s attention somehow.
v7 Basically she is saying, I’m not playing games like the rest of these girls that follow you around to try to catch your attention. Tell me where you are.
The rest of the first chapter they exchange love notes basically.
One thing: Love is not about finding the right one; it’s about BEING the right one.
Women generally use 2 approaches to catching a man’s attention
1 – Catching mode. These are the ones similar to the girls that veiled themselves and followed the shepherds around. They put on an outfit, do their hair and rely on looks. Think Bret Michaels Rock of Love for a worse-case scenario. It’s like throwing bait out to see what you can catch. The problem with this is you’ll have to keep him with that bait and Father Time is not on your side. You will eventually lose them when you lose your bait. And when you catch him, you’ll generally find out he is a loser.
2 – Hunting mode. The women pursue. Do all the work. Call, set up dates, tell the guy exactly what’s going to happen and basically call all the shots. The result is you have a passive wimp.
v7 shows a picture of the alternative. She made a decision to be a princess. You are either going to be the one they sleep with or the one they marry.
v3 Name is significant. He had a good reputation and honor.
v7 Before courtship, create a standard. If you don’t, it will change based on emotions. Guys are great manipulators and will say anything to get what they want.
A woman doing it right will hold her standard up, wait to see if he leads. She wants a leader not a pacifist. If he doesn’t lead now, he won’t lead later. Don’t compromise for attention. Princesses have expectations.
Males, be a leader and respect boundaries. Don’t be selfish.
If you’re married, instead of pursuing this in another marriage, work on your own. You can’t fix someone else but you can control yourself. Be the best husband or wife you know how. 1 Peter 3. Life is more about marriage. Your life should be a pursuit of Jesus regardless of your spouse. Men, step up. Women, encourage your husband when he does step up. Men are also responsible for being attractive after married.
Typing this out, I guess it felt a little like Dating 101 but it was so interesting seeing it related to Song of Songs. Also, I think every single teenager needed to hear this. It makes me want to save it another 5 or 6 years for a few little girls I might know. I highly recommend listening to the Podcast (when it’s posted).
Next week is about Courtship!
You need to post the video when it gets put up…so funny. Oh and you need to do a post on Lexi’s first gymnastics bust.