Ramblings from a Working Mother

Yesterday ended up being a little bit of a bust. I came to the office and found that my badge and all network access had not been touched. Turns out the company overlapped my end date as a contractor and start date as an employee and so nothing really changed yesterday. At lunch, my manager came by and just said, go home if you want. So even though it was my day in the office and I had my brand new suit on, you know I hightailed it down the interstate to home. I am always like a horse to his barn. Get me home!

I am back at the office today and much of my access is gone. Today will be the day that I stay at the office for 9 hours and commute for over an hour. Ten hours away from home. It’s just…yucky to me.

I read this post over at Beneath My Heart (sorry no link at present) today where she chronicles her home and work life through the years. I love the comment she quoted from her mother, “God does everything in seasons.” Right now she’s in a season of staying home with her children after full time work in her last season. Right now I’m in a season of being full-time hours, half-time telecommuter.

There is a never-ending debate on whether mothers, or even females, should be working at all. Obviously I fall in the camp of “it’s ok”. As with many things, I think there is a balance and not a one-size-fits-all rule to the whole deal. Some mothers would be nearly violent if forced to stay at home full-time. Or, they simply enjoy using their talents at their job. Other mothers wouldn’t be able to handle the juggle between full-time at the office and to be “busy at home” life. And some simply love being being home full-time. I’m a Jesus-loving girl and bathed this decision about work in prayer and no one is going to convince me that God hasn’t led me here. It’s just a season. It may be that we need this extra money in the future for a time where I WILL be led to be at home full-time.

I won’t lie, it’s hard to be gone this long. As I said, it feels “yucky” to me. But you know what? I feel kind of sad when I leave my kids to go get coffee with a friend and I miss bedtime. I feel kind of sad when they spend the night away from home and I don’t get Saturday morning with them. My sadness is not about work. It’s about loving and missing my kids when I’m away, no matter what it’s for. But we can’t insulate ourselves so much that we are with our kids 100% of the time. I think it does a disservice to both me and my girls if I were to limit my time with my friends and their time with their family and friends. At the same time, God has given us the kids for only a season and yes, it’s great when we can sow into their lives. To be honest, given the choice aside from money I would probably choose to be a full time stay-at-home mom. I would love to take off to Target at 10am or go bowling at 2. I’d be happy to be home every day to have dinner set and ready at 5.

I guess I just think our hearts and minds can be one place and our bodies in another. A stay at home can FOR SURE be absent in mind and heart from their home and children even if physically at home while a working mother can be at work, but their hearts and minds at home and actually, be MORE attentive when physically at home than if they were home all day. I think it comes down to a heart issue. If our hearts are at home and our attention is with our kids, that’s what is important, no matter where we spend our day physically.