Entangled: The Introduction

I debated. I texted. I couldn’t decide what to share with you today. The intro. An excerpt. The video. The web site. The testimonials. So many choices. But it feels right to share the introduction this week. This will give you a little more detail about what happened but doesn’t divulge the whole story yet.

On a recent October afternoon, my coworkers and I were headed to a corn maze, and I was legitimately scared I was going to get lost. I could just imagine retracing the same path countless times, never finding a way out, calling for help and no one answering. I was sure I’d be spending the night in the gloppy mud between spindly stalks of corn. OK, maybe that is a bit dramatic. It turns out the owner stands on a bridge and all I would have to do is raise a flag, which had been given to me at the start line, and he would lead me out. But it got me thinking about life. Sometimes we enter paths we don’t want to follow; some of the same ones over and over, all leading to dead-ends. We don’t know how to get out. At some point we have to raise our flags and ask for directions.

A few years ago, I headed down paths I never thought I’d find myself on. At times, it all felt like a fun game, and I was content to lose myself in the maze. But when I finally wanted out, I realized I was stuck. I kept retracing my steps because what should have felt like the wrong way had quickly become familiar. In just a few short weeks six years ago, I found myself emotionally checked out of my marriage and checked in with a person with whom I worked. I wondered if I had missed my real soul mate. I was sure I had found the real fairy tale I’d been looking for all my life. I was having secret conversations, dreaming about a guy who wasn’t my husband and wondering how I got there. And night after night, I found myself lying in the mud not willing to raise a flag for help.

God finally found me in the mud and mire and through his spectacular grace led me out of the entangled mess I had put myself in.

Maybe you know how it feels to question your husband and your marriage. Maybe you know how it feels to have feelings for someone else. Maybe you know how it feels to hide your text messages and Facebook account because if your spouse saw it, you’d be mortified and just a little afraid you’d lose everything. I’ve been there. Lost in the middle of the cornfield.

I know it’s scary and confusing right now. This book is my attempt to shout from a bull horn on a bridge to the middle of the field where you are and give you the directions out. Because there is a way out. But some of it is not easy. The path out is bumpy and even painful at times but I can tell you how good the freedom feels when you find your way out.

So will you walk with me? I need to tell you about a time I got lost in a cornfield.

I hope you see that this book is not just a self-help book but a chance to share with you my story. I hope you’ll choose to walk with me. 10 days and counting.