Afraid

Writing with Five Minute Friday on afraid.  No editing or backtracking.  Just writing for five minutes.

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I remember lying in my twin bed staring intently at our mini blinds.  I waited, afraid, for looming shadows.

I cried, afraid, curled in a ball in the hallway listening intently for the winds to whistle like a train.

I gripped my spray, finger on the trigger and walked faster to my car in the university parking lot, looking to the left and right, just to be sure.

I stood outside the circle, heart pounding with words bubbling.  My throat constricted and burned but fear squeezed tighter keeping the words in its grip.

I’ve said no, maybe later and didn’t show up because I wasn’t quite sure how it would all go.

Years have past and I don’t stare at windows or cry in hallways. 

Sometimes I think I have this fear thing figured out.  And then God prunes a little more of something else and we find the roots are made of fear.

I’m learning one thing though. 

The opposite of my fear is not my courage.

No, the opposite of my fear is the certainty of God’s power.

Even if the window breaks, the winds howl or words are mangled, God will be there to rescue and redeem.

Because God didn’t come to prevent us from evil but He did come to deliver us from evil.

Delivering is not a prevention.  Delivering implies the evil happened and he’s rescuing us from it.

So next time you are waiting or crying or walking faster in fear, remember God’s power awaits.  No matter what happens,

he

will

deliver

you.

 

Do you know someone that is experiencing fear?  Just one?  Would you share this with them and maybe give them a little bit of real courage?