Amy J. Bennett

Extraordinary Faith for Everyday Life

Why I’m Still Rooting for Jim & Pam

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I’m ecstatic to have my friend Mary from Giving Up on Perfect here today.  Mary and I are Internet friends but we’ve also met in real life.  She was one of my roomies from Allume.  Here we are in the Smilebooth but really, we spent most of the weekend together doing just this:

allume-conference-smileboot Mary, me, Amanda

 

Mary and I love chatting TV so a post about Jim and Pam from The Office seemed just about right.  But don’t be fooled, though, this post is about more than just Jim and Pam. 

For those like me that quit watching when Jim and Pam got married, this post might be a tad spoilerish.  But, Jim and Pam are one of my favorite couples in TV history so it was good to catch up with them even if I was spoiled a tad. 

So without further adieu, here’s Mary:

 

When it comes to my shows, I’m an all or nothing viewer. I will watch Every. Single. Episode., or I won’t watch at all. And no matter how many times a formerly fresh and clever show has jumped the proverbial shark, I will watch loyally until the very end of the series. Usually. But every once in a while, I get so frustrated or disappointed with a show that I quit. I erase it from my DVR schedule and try to forget it even exists.

  • It worked with Grey’s Anatomy. [As long as I avoid those commercials!]
  • It worked with Big Bang Theory. [We’ll always have reruns.]
  • It worked with Bones. [As if I’d come back after that surprise pregnancy stunt?]

And it almost worked with The Office.

Once I began watching The Office (after co-workers convinced me I was The Only Person not watching it back in 2005), I never missed an episode. I stayed through the Stanford years and the Angry Andy episodes and the Michael and Jan insanity. I watched – and loved – it all. But when Steve Carell left, the lights went out for me. I came back the next season, but not every week. And eventually, I stopped watching at all. This is The Office’s final season, though. And if there’s one thing that will woo me back, it is a final season.

As I checked back in with the show I used to love so much, I saw major drama unfolding between Pam and Jim. Jim had started a new company in Philadelphia and was spending lots of time away from home while Pam quietly grew more and more resentful of the situation. Was it possible our beloved PB&J weren’t going to make it? As I’ve once again become a regular viewer, I’ve also started reading recaps and reviews of The Office again, too. And I have been so surprised by what I’ve found.

 

 

Apparently, after the big wedding in season six, America’s love affair with Jim and Pam started to crumble. And now, after a couple years of grumbling that Married Jim and Pam were boring, lots of those PB&J fans who cheered so loudly for the first kiss and the first date and the proposal and the wedding dance have turned on Jim and Pam.

As our favorite characters have struggled in their marriage, fans of the show became fed up. Depending on who you listen to, either Jim has always been a domineering, selfish jerk or Pam is demanding and whiny and unsupportive.

  • They protested, “One hug can’t fix a marriage that’s obviously falling apart.”
  • And they complained that Pam and Jim were trying too hard and their new-and-improved relationship seems forced.
  • I even read some so-called fans claim that divorce was inevitable, was more realistic and would’ve made a better story.

Well, everyone is allowed an opinion. But I disagree with all of these complaints. Sure, one hug won’t fix a marriage in crisis. But one gesture, one connection, ONE HUG might just be the thing that reminds you how much this person matters and how much you don’t want to hurt him or her. It won’t fix it, but it might be enough to push you in that direction.

As for trying too hard, I don’t see how that’s negative. Though we’d like to believe marriage is easy peasy after we say “I do,” it’s not. And what seems forced and awkward to outsiders might just be two committed people determined to work on their relationship taking the hard steps toward healing. When more than half of marriages end in divorce, the end of Jim and Pam certainly would’ve been realistic. Instead, The Office showed them taking the road less traveled and fighting for the very thing that kept us coming back week after week for six-plus years. The writers chose to give viewers a picture of hope and redemption and created a realistic happily ever after to this sitcom fairy tale.

After Jim and Pam went to counseling and eventually found their way back to each other, I was thrilled. The panic and devastation they showed each of the characters feeling, the commitment to figure it out and make it work, the stubborn set of their jaws and their hearts – it felt SO REAL.

So when they finally broke through all the junk they’d built between them and chose each other, chose to stay – that felt real, too. And, honestly, it felt like the last year of my life. Maybe I’m biased because my husband and I just went through an incredibly difficult season and, through the grace of God, chose to stay together and do the hard work, ending up stronger and happier than ever. But to me, THAT – my story and the story The Office has told us about Jim and Pam – is a real love story. And THAT is why I will never stop rooting for Jim and Pam.

 

I couldn’t be happier with how the writers have told this final season story of Jim and Pam. For me it’s been one of the most true-to-life and satisfying portrayals of marriage. And, I’m not gonna lie, a Jim and Pam montage – whether it’s the one Jim played for Pam last week or one I found on YouTube – will never not make me tear up. Just watch this and tell me you don’t cry just a little!

Will you watch The Office finale tonight? Are you still rooting for Jim and Pam?

 

Mary Carver is a writer, blogger, wife and mom. She’d rather read than clean house, she watches too much TV, and M&Ms are her love language. A recovering perfectionist, Mary writes with honesty and humor about her imperfect life at www.givinguponperfect.com. Her posts about everything from dieting and housekeeping to parenting and faith encourage other women to give up on perfect and get on with life. She also writes for (in)courage and is the author of Plan a Fabulous Party {without losing your mind}. You can connect with Mary on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram.

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Comments

  1. Mary, I love this, and completely agree. While divorce would have been realistic, people who fight for their marriages exist, too. It has been refreshing to see that choice portrayed in the story of such a beloved couple.

  2. PB&J FOREVER! Yes, exactly this. I haven’t watched all the episodes from this season (or once Michael left), but I’ve tried to catch the past few new episodes. Their struggle has felt real to me too and I was honestly worried that the writers would have them end in divorce. I was really pleased the past few episodes to see them working on their relationship and with the montage last week? I got the warm fuzzies again that we all used to get when we were rooting for Jim and Pam to get together. Also, to see a man sacrifice his dream to save his marriage is unheard of in this day and age, and it’s refreshing.
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    • Yes! For Jim to choose family over career is nearly unheard of, at least as far as TV shows go. I’m curious how that part of their story will play out in tonight’s finale, but I really liked that he [finally] put Pam first. I was so surprised to read other “fans” go on and on about how selfish she was to ask that from him, but what I saw was something much more complicated and, in the end, much more beautiful than a demanding wife expecting her husband to abandon his dreams for his family!
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      • I think they may be able to find a middle ground. If it really is just the 3 months of travel so that they can sell the company, it seems like Pam could handle that more than the never ending sacrifice she was making before.

        • I totally agree with you. Especially seeing Pam’s wheels turning last week after overhearing Daryl and Jim talk about the trip, I think she’s realizing how much he has given up to be with her and the kids in Scranton.
          Leann recently posted…Thankful ThursdayMy Profile

          • I agree with you both. And I think that this kind of compromise will work a whole lot better now that Jim has decided – and put his decision into action – to put his family first. I know that for me, I am much more open to my husband playing softball (for example…) this summer than I was last year – BECAUSE of the hard work we’ve done and choices we’ve made. I guess we’ll see what happens tonight!
            Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect recently posted…Why I’m Still Rooting for Jim & PamMy Profile

  3. I just have to say watching that fan video makes my inner fangirl all sorts of giddy.

  4. Awww, I love this. I guess I have too much faith because I was CERTAIN there was no way they could end Jim and Pam. We’ve watched all the way through – even though the last few seasons I’ve told my husband I didn’t care … but this season I’ve started caring again. And there has been just enough good to make me stay. And a lot of that is Jim and Pam. Jim’s almost been SO good that it’s nice to see him portrayed realistically – that he has told half-truths and enjoyed pretending to be a bachelor, etc.

    I’m really excited about the finale!
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  5. I will be faithful to The Office till the end (which is sadly coming to fast for me). I watched it the first day it air (shout out to all my ’05ers!) and have not missed an episode. In fact, my husband and I watch the old seasons on Netflix just about every night. HA!

    I’m pretty vested in Jim and Pam. Just the other night I watched the episode where Jim goes to NYC with Karen to interview for Jan’s job. The one where the final scene is Jim busting into the conference room to ask Pam out on a date. Yep. My heart still skipped a beat.

    I stood it out when they got “boring” (which frankly is pretty much real life, so, whatevs) and then formed an ulcer when they hit their rock bottom (ok, maybe I didn’t form an ulcer, but I soooo don’t have nails any more thanks to those weeks). And now, now I’m so happy they are fighting it out and taking it for the long haul. Why? Because, like you, my marriage has hit some pretty rocky roads in the last year. And while a hug didn’t fix it, that first step proved to be the turn of something better. Hard still, but better. Seeing Jim and Pam choosing to stick it out rather than bailing out, may not make great tv for the masses. Frankly, I don’t care. Because as a loyal (extremist?) Office fan, I think they have become a real couple to me. And I love seeing that they are doing what I would want any couple friends of mine to do – try.
    Sarah @ loved like the church recently posted…The Tragedy with Tragedy – How the Boston Marathon Bombing Is Effecting MeMy Profile

  7. I thought the writers were looking into my windows this past year to write the PB&J story line. I agree that some people say ONE hug might not save a marriage but that instant connection pulls you back to reality. I cried this past year on this show, and for a show to be a comedy but really pull in true life they did great! I’m going to miss The Office

  8. “The panic and devastation they showed each of the characters feeling, the commitment to figure it out and make it work, the stubborn set of their jaws and their hearts – it felt SO REAL.” I rarely comment but I just have to say this. That is one of the most beautiful lines about this couple ever. EVER. The entire article is perfect in every way but that line made me cry…Thank you so much for writing this!

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