I recently had a lightbulb moment regarding homemaking I want to tell you about, but first I need to preface it with two truthful, but funny comments from my children. It should set the tone for the type of homemaker I am regarding neatening, or what Cheryl Mendelson of Home Comforts calls straightening up.
Messy Is the Norm
Last week I was straightening up for our weekly small group we host on Thursdays. Emma was sitting on the recliner in the living room and says, “Why are you cleaning up so much—our house doesn’t look like that.”
“Are you suggesting I’m being fake by cleaning up?”
She confirmed that indeed, she thought I was being disingenuous by straightening up the house before company came over. I get what she was getting at, but I’m pretty sure company would rather not trip over her tennis shoes and sit on bags from Walmart. In any case, I guess the point is it stung that she thought messy was the norm in our home.
Yesterday I was home because of Veteran’s Day and the kids had school. I spent most of the day straightening up the house, trying to finally catch up on all the catch-all areas that I can never catch-up on.
Lexi came home from school, walked through the house to set her stuff down, went to the bathroom and what-not and asked if the cleaning lady had come.
“Yes, your cleaning-lady-mother came!” I quipped, realizing once again that messiness was more norm than I realized.
So, just to level-set, this is what we’re dealing with in our house.
My house gets professionally cleaned every two weeks, it gets neatened in the common areas once a week for small group and the entire house is neatened just before the cleaning lady comes. I try to get the girls to clean their room floors every night but that’s not always the case. Scott usually keeps a handle on the floors being clear but other than that, it’s a free for all.
One cannot be expected to have 100% of a house straightened 100% of the time. It’s just not possible. However, I admit that I had some weird thoughts about the whole neatening process after reading the neatening section of Home Comforts.
Let me explain.
The Broken Window
In Home Comforts, Cheryl explains the broken window theory. The broken window theory is something police officers uncovered in derelict neighborhoods. If an abandoned home had a broken window, then delinquents were more likely to take the vandalism one notch higher, like graffiti. And if there was graffiti on the house, they were more likely to break in the house. By fixing the small issues like broken windows, police could significantly reduce vandalism.
She applies the concept to our homes. When we walk into our kitchens and there is a glass on the counter, we are more likely to set our dirty glass down beside it. However, if the counter is clean, we are more likely to put the dish in the dishwasher so the counter stays clean. If we can fix the broken windows in our homes, it’s more likely to cut down on the need for neatening.
This concept was a lightbulb moment for me.
In the past, I would look at a room and rate the messiness of it. I rated the messiness of the room by how long it would take to clean it. If just a pair of shoes was on the floor, it would only take 30 seconds to take the shoes to my room. If there was also a book out that I was reading, that would only take another 30 seconds to carry it to my bookshelf. So, in all, it would only take a minute—literally—to clean the room. If the rating was very low like that, I would consider the room nearly clean and I would not see a need to straighten it.
Once the room’s rating was high, meaning it would take several minutes, or even hours to clean, I labeled it messy and then figured I should do something about it. The problem was once it was going to take several minutes or hours to fix, I rarely would have such a chunk of time to actually clean it. This made the problem all the worse because everyone saw it as a free-for-all since it was already messy.
This broken window theory has totally thrown a wrench into my thoughts.
The Broken Window Applied
Now when I see just one thing out of place, I see the potential and in fact, psychological impacts, of not “fixing the broken window.”
Now I don’t see a room that will take no time to clean, I see something that could cause lots of other things in the room to gather AND something I could fix very quickly NOW.
I’m not saying I have a neat house 100% of the time now (please see my children’s comments above), but I am saying that the broken window concept has changed how I look at a room and has, in fact, made me neaten a room when it takes just 30 seconds to do so instead of waiting. As a result, I think the rooms are staying cleaner (emphasis on the “er” part) and I’m only neatening for seconds at a time instead of several minutes or even hours.
Whew, welcome to my neatening neurosis. How do you view neatening? Is it something you do religiously or just wait until you have lots to straighten at once?
Stephanie says
I have heard this theory more than once. My mom recites it to me quite a bit when I ask her why her house is always so clean, lol. I do agree with this theory and that it works wonderfully but making myself change to actually working that theory will take some time. At my home, I am horrible at neatening. I usually am like you and think, that it’s barely messy, it can wait until another day or ‘I’ll get that later after I relax’. And by the time that day comes around I have a huge mess on my hands and barely enough time to clean it.
I think if I could get the whole family in on it, the broken window theory would work but something tells me it won’t hit home with my two kids, it’s like they have blinders on and don’t care if something is messy or not, which I know is my fault because messy is the norm for my house as well.. I have been needing a change lately and Just this past week actually I have been reciting Flylady’s “15 minutes a day” system to my two since it’s usually their mess that is coming in and effecting our living area. It’s working wonderfully so far and hoping it continues. Now to just use it in their rooms as well..
Amy says
Well, to be fair, I’m sure your mother no longer has any kids undoing all her neatening these days 🙂
I love the FlyLady too and her 15 minutes a day thing has helped me do a quick clean-up often in the past.
As for the kids, Scott is the one that is naturally the neat-freak and he’s constantly harping on them to clean up after themselves. I admit I’m not great at teaching them this skill. I know Scott would tell me if you just put something up when you’re done with it, you don’t have this problem to start with!
Sarah @ Beauty School Dropout says
The broken window theory definitely applies in my house, but I’d never thought about it in terms of using my quick straightening-up time to focus on the slightly messy areas, so they don’t get worse, rather than trying to make a dent in the messiest areas (which is usually what I do). I actually wrote about this on my blog recently — I found that rooms I’d spent time decorating a little bit (nothing fancy, just hanging a few pictures, etc.) tended to stay neater than undecorated rooms — which tend to become dumping grounds very quickly when I need to straighten the public areas of the house.
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Amy says
Sarah, this is a good point because I know FlyLady suggests using your extra 15 minutes to clear the messiest parts. Hm, I do wonder what she would suggest!
I guess what I’ve experienced so far is the quick neatening happens in pockets of time where I’m walking from one room to another and I’ll take the thing that needs to go back (ie leave my bedroom and take a cup with me to the kitchen) so it’s not really a dedicated time of neatening. Or, at the beginning of the day always spending 15 minutes to straighten the house for the day whereas putting a dent in a really messy room for 15 minutes would be dedicated in the evenings.
Very interesting point! I guess the crux is understanding that straightening the neat rooms is really important too and then figuring out a system for that as well. You’re making me think 🙂
Jenn (Student Mom) says
I read somewhere (I’ve been trying for years to tidy up) about a thing called “touch it once”.
If you take your shoes off, touch them once, as in while you hold them after taking them off, put them directly in your cupboard so that you don’t put them down and then pick them up again. It’s never really taken off in my home.
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ohamanda says
Ugh, girl. I’m the same way–I see one thing out of place and thin, “Whew! Only one thing out of place!” And then attack the kitchen or laundry which NEVER gets finished.
I need a house elf.
a
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Amy says
Yes, a house elf would do the trick.