Archives for 2013

The Law, Love and a Review of Jesus > Religion

October 8, 2013 by Amy 1 Comment

I found myself in tears in my living room. It was an ordinary weeknight. I’d just been lying with my daughter reading as I do every night, but had to excuse myself so I didn’t lose it in front of her.

I’d been reading Jeff Bethke’s new book Jesus > Religion and a passage explained a set of Scriptures that always left question marks in its wake.

Jesus says, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished.”

While I always understood Jesus died for all my sins, I’d always read this and thought But Jesus said the Law is still valid. He might have covered all my sins, but he still expects me to obey the law. Then things would get confusing. Which law was still valid? Which do I have to follow? Which can I ignore?

The pendulum would swing the other way at times and I’d think well of course we don’t have the law. Jesus got rid of all that. We’re totally free to do whatever we want. Eat, drink and be merry!

And then I would think, but…but…Jesus is holy and wants us to be holy. I know the Holy Spirit guides me away from some of the same things the law does. The law fits in there somewhere. Plus, didn’t Jesus say…

Somewhere in my head I knew he’d freed us from the law, but I just could not understand how these verses made it all work together.

In response to these verses in Jesus > Religion, Jeff writes:

Jesus wants to make it clear: he isn’t taking God’s moral law lightly. The only difference is, he didn’t come to crush us with it—which religious people do, like the leaders in John 8—but rather, he came to fulfill it for us. When something is “fulfilled,” it means it has reached its end or completion. That’s what Jesus said he was doing. He was fulfilling the righteous requirements of it, on our behalf, to give us perfect standing with God.

That paragraph is what sent me in tears out of my daughter’s room. I’d read that verse so many times but finally I understood. I am free. Totally and completely free from the law. Jesus fulfilled all the requirements for me.

And here’s how I finally understood the rest: God hasn’t changed. He still desires for us to be holy. The law shows what God’s holiness looks like. It’s purpose is to show that we don’t meet that standard. With religion, we try to follow all the rules so we will be right with God. With Jesus, he does it all for us and then we begin to obey and grow out of a love relationship with him. Likely, the more we grow, naturally we are obeying the laws because we are becoming more like the character of God which is displayed through the law. But we do not have to obey the law first to be right with God or even to maintain our righteousness.

The law then to me as a Christian is simply a mirror of God’s character.

God is so good to me in that our sermon yesterday, the question for us was if we are free from the law, can we just do what we want? The answer is that yes, we’re free from the law but when we have that relationship, we live out of love and want to obey his Spirit not his law. It’s like God just wanted to give me an extra pat on the back and say, yes! You’ve got it now!

And this is what I love about Christianity. I don’t have it all figured it out. The questions don’t go away. But the trust doesn’t either. I may not understand every piece of the puzzle but I trust that the puzzle is complete in Christ. He shows me answers when I’m ready and sometimes that’s when my heart, a book and a sermon are ready to intersect.

I’m convinced Jesus > Religion is going to be part of so many more moments of clarity. Jeff is a voice for a generation that desperately needs to hear Jesus is relevant and a reminder to long-time believers what we truly believe. Jesus > Religion released this week and whether you are a person of strong faith or the word religion sends you running, I’d highly recommend it.

Emma’s Braces – 2 Month Update

October 7, 2013 by Amy 3 Comments

Emma went for her first adjustment nearly two weeks ago but I’m just now getting around to giving you an update.

I thought I would tell you why I’ve been dragging on this particular post, but then I thought I might just show you.

Hey, Emma, let me get a picture of your teeth!

Emma! Take your shirt off your head!

Seriously, Em, come on!

This would only take a second if you’d just smile!

Let’s go over in the shade.

Emma! Let me see your face! Ok, 1, 2, 3, GO!

Annnd, smile!

Emma!

A real smile!

Put your hands down!

Open your eyes!

Look normal!

Close enough.

Sheesh. This was not our first attempt either. Keeping up with these updates may not be in my wheelhouse.

To recap progress:

Before:

After expander:

First week of braces:

2 month update:

The good part: As you can see, it’s totally changing her looks. Her front gap filled in within the first month and her teeth are lining up quickly.

I’ve been amazed but she has had VERY little pain. She didn’t complain at all after her adjustment and has only complained a time or two about one of her bottom front teeth hurting under pressure.

The bad part: the fun of cleaning them with all the new fancy tools has lost all appeal which has meant more yelling *ahem* reminding and work from me.

What’s next: she gets her expander out at the end of the month at her next appointment and honestly, she was disappointed to hear it.

Thoughts so far: Besides the cleaning, this has been a very pleasant experience and I think we’re well on our way!

Now someone please tell me their kids are just as hard to photograph!

A Suburban Mom and a Rock Star

October 4, 2013 by Amy 2 Comments

Scott’s been on a kick listening to 80’s rock bands. He really likes the guitar, so he was especially interested in listening to Slash, the guitar player from Guns N’ Roses (Sweet Child O’ Mine video. You’re welcome). One day as I was working, Scott was watching his performances and as people usually do on YouTube, he got a little sidetracked and started watching interviews of Slash.

In one, they talked about his sordid past including partying and drug addictions. In this particular interview, he was asked about his history with women. I listened as he confirmed rumors that he would rent a hall of hotel rooms and have different women, not knowing about each other, lined up for the night.

I was appalled.

How could he think so little of the women to do that to them? Surely the women knew they were only one in a long line of women he had used, if not in the same night, then over his career. Did they think so little of themselves? What in the world would make him do this?

He didn’t go into details and I haven’t done a lot of reading but I guess a sex addiction played a role. Even if an addiction had taken over, doesn’t it all start with us doing what we want because we can over and over?

I kept thinking about this for days.

—————————————————————————————

As I mentioned last week, I started eating well again. The days tick by and I realize just how enslaved to sugar I’d become. I wanted to quit but couldn’t. Just one more cookie, one more cupcake, one more latte, one more bowl of ice cream. I’ll start Monday. Oh, wait, tomorrow. Next month.

I wanted it. And no one was stopping me.

I believe it when I hear sugar is as addictive as heroin. Not that I know how addictive heroin is, but I know sugar is addictive.

A sugar addiction and sex addiction aren’t comparable in consequence, but possibly in cause.

It’s easy to dismiss Slash as disgusting, perverted and nothing like me but as I thought about Slash and his hall full of women, I realized I had no better excuse. I wanted it, could have it and did.

On its own, though, isn’t doing what we want the best part of being an adult?

Gretchen Rubin recently tweeted this just days before I started changing my eating habits and it rang so true to me:

We have freedom to explore those things we want to do but while they temporarily feel good, in the end, they bring death. If you read some of the articles by these legit rock stars they’ll admit it’s fun for a time, but it just cannot sustain a healthy lifestyle, or a life at all.

Certainly I’m not suggesting we should all abstain from things like sex or sugar just because it leads to addiction. But for some of us, we should. Part of growing as an adult is learning those things that make us eventually feel worse instead of better and then stopping them. As a Christian, we have a great running start at this as sin always leads to death. Still, we have much freedom in Christ and we still have to be wise in the gray areas.

I suppose I share all this to remind myself, and maybe you too, of a few things.

This gluttonous suburban mom is at times no better than a sex-crazed rock star.

None of us can throw stones–love before you judge.

Pleasure doesn’t equate to goodness. Let’s repeat that—pleasure doesn’t equate to goodness.

Sometimes we need help walking away–reach out to someone.

Changing your life is possible—a heart changed by Christ is the best.

And true wisdom is knowing and doing what leads to life, regardless if you’re in front of your fridge or a hotel room door.

AmyJBennett.com Fall 2013 Survey Results

October 3, 2013 by Amy 9 Comments

Alright, folks. It’s time to discuss the survey results!

Thank you so much for participating in our first survey. It’s already helped me so much to understand who you are, what you like and what you don’t. Grab a cup of coffee because this is a long one!

I’m a nerdy visual learner, so I made an infographic. For those who prefer to talk it out, just keep scrolling down and we’ll chat afterwards with a recap.

Click on the picture for full resolution

If you’d like the data without the pretty pictures, I have a PDF of the raw results for you here.

Who You Are

You’re likely a married woman from your late 20’s to your early 40’s, have kids at home, live in the US and don’t blog. Basically, we’re a lot alike other than the blogging thing, obviously.

Lots of you don’t fit that description but no worries! If you’re male or single or don’t have kids or live in Australia (I wanna come visit), I still love you and desperately want you to keep coming back. Diversity is a GOOD thing!

How We Connect

Most of you found the site directly from me (on or offline) or someone else you know on or offline. That sounds kind of obvious but what I mean is there’s not a lot of people finding the blog from Google searches and then hanging around or even following me back from a comment I made somewhere, which I find enlightening.

On an on-going basis, a lot of you are subscribing at Facebook or an RSS reader. A small percentage of you don’t subscribe at all and should! Like the Facebook page, subscribe through RSS or email.

What You Like

I’m not hearing a big demand for a newsletter. On the other hand, if I found a way for it to be awesome, most of you would be down for that. Obvious follow-up question: for those that said maybe, what content would make it worth it to you?

For most of you, your favorite posts are personal/memoir, parenting or faith. The personal one seemed like a gimme since this is a lifestyle blog, although it was good to get confirmation you like to hear about the every day things. But I’ll admit the parenting one surprised me. I always hear people get annoyed when you talk about your kids too much. No? And finally, the faith one encouraged me. It was great to find out my favorite things to write about are your favorite things to read about. We’re a perfect match!

30% of you didn’t list a least favorite topic at all. Those that did said fashion, gardening and book/movie/TV reviews were your least favorite. Surprisingly, only one of the males listed fashion as their least favorite type of post.

I can understand the fashion (for real, it’s not my forte) and gardening (I’m no expert), but I’m a little sad about the book reviews. Not only did 16% of you suggest it was your least favorite topic, only 34% listed it as a favorite topic. I think I’ll come up with a different way to share what I’ve been reading.

So, that recaps the infographic. I’d love to know what other insights you have of the data, nerdy people.

Blogs You Read

You guys inundated me with other blogs that you read. I’m so eager to check them out. Here are a few that came up several times along with ones I recognized:

If you’re looking for a full list of the blogs, I uploaded a PDF of all the blogs you read.

Blogs Like AmyJBennett.com

The question I was very interested in was one most people skipped. It wasn’t easy so I’ll give you a pass, but it was what other blog reminds you of this one? Here are several of the blogs submitted:

I love a lot of those blogs so I was happy to see some friends on there! I take it as a great compliment and appreciate it! So, if you like this blog and want to check out more, bookmark a few of those!

This list gave me a really good idea of your perception of what this blog is about, so I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to list those.

General Feedback

And finally—general comments. For the sake of anonymity, I won’t share all the details but here are just a few generalities amongst the comments:

You guys like that I’ve infused faith more actively into all sorts of posts, regardless of the main topic.
You all want more honesty and transparency, regardless of how I believe it might be received.
You especially like when I share struggles you may relate to.
You like the differing content.
You want more life stories.
In general, you seem to just like following along on the journey.

I can not tell you how affirming and encouraging these statements are. It truly inspires me to dig deep and be brave. I enjoy writing here so much but at times feel like I’m not doing it right or not measuring up. What I’m realizing though is I just need to be me and that’s enough. You guys are helping me learn. For that, I thank you greatly.

Whew! Congrats if you’re still reading! Once again, thank you so much for taking our Fall 2013 Reader Survey. I hope to make these more regular.

Now, hit the comments and let me know what surprised or disappointed you, what questions you’d like to see answered and any feedback you have on the survey itself!

Hint: I wish I would have asked you about your faith background and also if you work!

What I Wore Wednesday 10.2.2013

October 2, 2013 by Amy 9 Comments

It’s Wednesday when I share my outfits from the week.

I pair my outfits with inspirational photos. Read more about that here.

Email and RSS readers need to click over to the site to see the inspirational photos.

It’s finally cooling off a bit here in the Carolinas even though it was in the 80s and sunny today. I’m usually hot mid-afternoon with pants on but the mornings and evenings have been calling for warmer clothes.

I’m waiting until I get through the AdvoCare 24-day challenge to go buy more pants for the winter. However, my friend Dani passed on all these shirts to me when we visited them the other weekend so I didn’t need to do any fall shopping for shirts. Thanks, friend!

Linked up to:

The Pleated Poppy’s What I Wore Wednesday

Parenting in Bits

September 30, 2013 by Amy 8 Comments

Krappweis

I had these expectations of how it would be to parent older children. I imagined long talks and diatribes about family values and morals and situations. I’ve been hyperventilating about The Talk since I found out I was pregnant. Perhaps I’d watched too many sitcoms in the 80’s and 90’s where everything ended with some wisdom from Mom and Dad.

However, parenting older children is not going the way I thought it would.

I’ll pick them up from school and ask how their day went and one will complain about a friend who wasn’t being nice. Oh, this is my chance, I’ll think. “Well, you know, Lexi, we have to treat others how we want to be treated.” There’s a beat of silence and Emma shouts from the other back seat, “Oh my gosh, Ryan threw up right before music and it was SO. GROSS.” Lexi wants all the details and my moment of wisdom lasted approximately 22 seconds.

Or sometimes, we’ll be walking along in CVS buying some body wash and there’ll be tampons on the end cap and Emma asks me if they hurt. “No,” I say, “but I did wear only pads for a long time.” And then she sees candy on the next aisle and says, “Mom can I pleeeasse have a snickers bar?” I say no and we’ve moved on from the mother-daughter bonding.

We’ll be driving to church and Lexi will share a scary dream she had the night before and how scared she was. I’ll remind her to pray and repeat 2 Timothy 1:7 any time she’s scared. Angels are protecting her. “I know, Mom,” she says before continuing, “Can we go to the gas station after church and get a slushie?” I didn’t get a full lesson on fear and angels before slushies.

That’s how parenting older kids has gone. In bits.

Sure, we do devotions at night and talk about children’s church from Sunday, but I’ve found most of my teaching has been the crevices. And I didn’t expect that at all.

It’s ok, though, because in my experience, God parents in bits too.

Sometimes as his children we get a little disappointed he doesn’t come down and lay it all out for us. We want all the answers to all our questions now and in 12 pt font and double-spaced, please. But from my experience as his child and as a parent myself, it’s in these bits God reveals his character and his wisdom.

I’ll be driving the kids to school and the sun cresting through the trees catches my eye. God reminds me he created another day, he’s a beautiful artist and he loves me. I turn into the car line and remind the girls to take their lunch boxes and thank God for another day.

I’ll be standing at the dryer thinking about how much it stings a friend hurt me and he simply says, “Forgive because you’re been forgiven.” I find the last matching pair of socks, breathe deeply and decide I will.

I love to stop and study about Jesus, but these small moments when he breathes truth remind me he’s walking with me. He’s not a God only on the page, but in my heart, going along and showing me himself. I’m grateful he chooses moments.

And so I realize although parenting isn’t going quite how I expected, it’s beautiful and just how it ought to be.

AmyJBennett.com Reader Survey

September 26, 2013 by Amy Leave a Comment

parylo00

We’ve never done a ready survey here and it’s about time! Recently I’ve been trying to plan content but, at times, it’s been hard to make a decision because I don’t have a great idea of who all of you lovely people are. Knowing a little more about you and what you like and dislike, even anonymously, will help me a ton to plan content and direction.

I have just 17 very quick questions for you to answer. Pretty please hop over from email or your reader and take just 2 minutes to fill it out.

I’m planning to post a summary of the results next Thursday.

The survey is posted right below or if you have issues, here’s the direct link. Thank you so much!

What I Wore Wednesday: 09.25.2013

September 25, 2013 by Amy 4 Comments

It’s Wednesday when I share my outfits from the week.

I pair my outfits with inspirational photos. Read more about that here.

Email and RSS readers need to click over to the site to see the inspirational photos.

You know I had to wear my Stitch Fix shirt right away! I paired it with a coral necklace and neutral shoes like the style card suggested.

And just because they entertained me, I thought I’d share some extra shots we took that night. You can see my silly girls with their silly poses in action.

I sort of thought we were doing nice family photos but clearly they had other plans. Welcome to my world, friends.

I’d love to connect! Like AmyJBennett.com on Facebook. Follow me on Pinterest, Instagram or Twitter.

Linked with:

The Pleated Poppy’s What I Wore Wednesday