The Court Date

I was a wreck this morning before court. Mostly, I was nervous about speaking on the stand. I understood that it was in a small room, it was very casual and the only people in there would be my family, DSS case workers and the necessary court people, but still, something about speaking publicly and on record about a topic so close to my heart made me nauseous.

And certainly, I was nervous the necessary paperwork wouldn’t come together.  We had pushed for a date before Christmas so I knew everyone was scrambling. I got phone calls throughout the week that things were behind or dates were on record in error.

Also, in the far-reaching corners of my mind, I had visions of his extended birth family showing up to protest. It’s nearly impossible as it’s a closed adoption, but still. You know how your brain can do that to you sometimes.

And then, in the first 10 minutes of court, my nervousness seemed justified.  The judge had 3 items that weren’t right.  First, a document was missing.  My heart sank. Immediately, I was making plans in my mind on how to deal with having to extend the hearing. Our case worker jumped in and the piece of paper came through.

Then another document was missing. The judge said it wasn’t with his papers. The attorney, baffled, searched through his paperwork to no avail.  He turned to the DSS workers who had nothing.  The attorney finally had to ask for the case to be kept open until the piece of paperwork could be supplied. The attorney explained he’d never not had a document before.

Then, some dates had been messed up. Thankfully, the judge accepted the documentation with the explanations provided

I was sweating through the whole thing. I knew the paperwork didn’t feel right this week. I’m so thankful for an attorney that thought quick on his feet and a merciful judge.

Finally, he said everything was together, even though it took a few painful minutes to get there. I think we were all holding our breath.

And then, seconds later he called me to the stand.  Let me tell you, that was not a good moment to call me to the stand.

He asked for pertinent information first, which I was expecting, except suddenly I felt like my brain had been wiped clean.  I had to search it really hard to be able to state my full name, birthday and location. I’ve never experienced something so nerve-wracking that such basic information was difficult to recall.

And then, he asked me to introduce my entire family to everyone—something they had not prepped me for!  I was crying by the time I got around to everyone, so overwhelmed at all the support, which made everyone else cry. I hadn’t planned on crying, but there the bailiff was handing me tissues!

Next he asked me to describe my relationship with Jac0b for the last few months. What? Another question I had not been prepped for! I really don’t remember if I made any sense. I think I said something about praying for him for several years, being excited for him to be placed and seeing him as a son from the get-go and looking forward to the future.

I had to then answer a bunch of yes/no questions about whether I truly understand what adoption meant—yes, sir I did.

And finally, when the attorney was done, I sighed some relief and then the judge said he had a question. What?! I was not prepared for that either!

He said, “If I grant this adoption decree today, would this be the best Christmas present ever?”

YES, SIR.

I was able to get off the stand and Scott got on.  The attorney basically just asked him if he’d heard and agreed with everything I’d just said! Lucky dog got off easy!  Scott is in court all the time for his job though, so he wasn’t nervous even a little bit anyway.

The guardian ad litem from DSS also testified and it was so sweet what she said.  She said something like  I’ve done a lot of cases over the years, but there’s something special about this one. I talked with Scott and Amy and then with Jac0b. He understands what a mom and dad means and he sees Scott and Amy as his mom and dad and it is my heartfelt recommendation that you grant this adoption.

What wonderful words to hear!

The judge said he agreed and had in fact already signed the decree during my testimony.

How much I loved hearing him say that no one or nothing could undo what was being done today and that from here on out, he was J@cob Bennett.

We were all smiles and maybe a few more tears as we took pictures and awaited the final paperwork.  And, as it turned out, that one piece of missing paperwork was at the clerk of court so everything was there after all and done, done today.

Jac0b didn’t show too much emotion except when Scott called him Mr. Bennett as we walked out of court and I saw a little smile escape.

I think we’ve all been feeling the relief though as we’ve all had a really good day all day.  We enjoyed (as much as a parent can) lunch and a few hours at Chuck E. Cheese.

I took the dog for a walk when we got home. The day was beautiful and I wondered if I might see any feathers. I didn’t and as I walked, I just had this sense that I didn’t need to see one.  I felt like I had walked through a fire, if you will, and now a different person had emerged. I had received the comfort that I needed and learned what it really meant to need that and receive it. I imagined it much like the end of the movie with the shot after the storm. The sun has come out and everyone is hugging each other tight and seeing hope for tomorrow. The credits rolls and everyone moves on.

Even though it has been only hours, it does feel different.  There’s a peace in my mind that wasn’t there before. When I begin to worry, I can now think no one can do anything now! It’s a very reassuring thought when familiar doubts try to come my way.

I know this feels much like the end of a journey as things are finalized, but the reality is this is just the beginning. I can’t wait to see what God has in store.