Adoption: Five Month Update

I’m standing in our bedroom watching him jump on our trampoline outside the other day and I just keep thinking it happened, I really have a son. It happens again when I catch a glimpse of his bike lying on the front lawn with his friends’ or when I see his shoes by the couch. Sometimes when I catch his picture in a frame or am folding his laundry. It feels like many transitions in life where you can’t imagine life before it and yet, it feels like it happened yesterday.

Today marks 5 months since Jac0b came to live with us. Somewhere around 150 days.

I went back to work this week for the first time since before the court date. I got a few questions about how the holidays were with the family and how things were going. I only had to think for a second before I enthusisatically answered we were doing great. And I meant it. I’m telling you something special happened that day in court three weeks ago. Well, the obvious special thing happened, but some sort of invisible special switch was flipped.

Ever since that day our family has felt different. Settled. Stable. Confident. Loving. Even between the kids.  Of course they have normal sibling fights and I get burned out on a long day, but there hasn’t been one break down, one hateful word, one threat to leave the family, one anything.

It’s just as I had hoped–we all know there’s no getting out of this now! And I say that with this best intent as possible.  We’re family and no one can change that and that brings a peace I can’t explain.

I’m sure there are other factors in play, too.  We went on our first road trip the evening after we went to court.  Road trips are great bonding experiences. Well, if they don’t make you hate each other.  Ours really couldn’t have gone better.

All five of us were also hunkered down together for nearly 2 weeks over the holidays.  No school. No work.  We had so much bonding time and it’s showing.

Lexi and Jac0b seemed to have particularly bonded well.  More often than not, I find the two of them playing together now.  It’s taken the full five months, but I think they’ve figured each other out.  They remind me of two animals that were put in the same pen and they just had to figure out who was going to be Alpha (*cough* Lexi *cough*). Actually, she’s taken quite a maternal role with him and it’s really heartwarming to see. Actually, guys, it feels like a miracle and heartwearming doesn’t even begin to cover how good it feels to see them happy together.

We also reduced Jac0b’s ADHD medication over the holidays. I wouldn’t mention it except I really think it’s a contributing factor that can’t be ignored. He’s settling in and becoming more stable. Also, I believe the DORE program is helping.

I mentioned it in a previous post, but it feels so good to have all that under our belt and to start our family fresh with the new year.

Someone at work commented how well-timed it all seemed and I couldn’t agree more.

I suppose you could sum up this five month update saying that it feels like we’re finding that elusive new normal as “Bennett, Party of Five” and y’all, it feels good.