Amy J. Bennett

Lessons from the Grocery Store

June 11, 2014 by Amy 4 Comments

One of the best homemaking decisions I ever made was to start grocery shopping the same day every week. I wrote a post last year for Money Saving Mom detailing how I do this. I still do it and I still love it. But, for days like Saturday when I was completely overwhelmed, I didn’t go. And yes, it’s meant more eating out this week, especially since it’s the kids’ first week of summer.

Lexi finally looked in the pantry last night and said, “You’ve got to go shopping or we’re going to DIE!”

Ok, y’all, it wasn’t that bad. I mean, I still had edible strawberries in the fridge. But still, it was time to go. But I hate grocery shopping. I remembered, though, how much the girls love doing it—especially the self-checkout line.

So far, I’ve let them go in the store while I waited at the front once or twice for one or two things. I decided since they had a friend over, to make the list a little longer and see if they wanted to tackle it together. They did. Enthusiastically, they did.

So, last night, I sat at the front where Starbucks is to monitor the door, of course, and kept an eye on them as they walked down the aisles while they picked up the essentials. They even ordered meat and cheese from the deli on their own.

As I was sitting at the front, another mom pushed her daughter in a dinosaur-shaped cart into checkout. The little girl started wailing when her mom told her she couldn’t have one of the helium balloons hanging above the gum. The mom stayed cool, kept checking out and eventually the girl stopped crying.

My heart went out for her because how many times did my girls have a fit in the grocery store? Or, my favorite story where Lexi needed a diaper change at checkout and the smell nearly made the young male cashier pass out and he was sure to let me know. Shoot me dead right now, please.

I was sitting there watching this and thinking of all those times I saw grocery shopping with the kids as a distraction to parenting. If I could just never have to do these silly errands and get down to real parenting. I need to teach them values and we need to memorize Scripture!

But, it hit me afresh while I watched my girls scoot around the store with a list, while those serious times are important too, teaching them life skills like grocery shopping is a big part of my job.

Grocery shopping, while painful with little ones, teaches them how to drive the cart on the right side of the aisle, and how to say excuse me, and how not run, and where the coffee is located, and how to budget your money, and how to make good food choices, and how to look for sales. It’s all vital to raising kids. And unfortunately, it happens one un-bought balloon at a time.

I was more committed than ever to not see these chores as a distraction from parenting, but to include the girls in my chores so I can parent them better.

And of course, God wouldn’t let this moment go without parenting me a bit.

He said that’s what I want you to get too—your spiritual life isn’t built just at devotional times or corporate worship. I’m trying to teach you as you grocery shop and wash dishes and do the laundry and go to work.

He wants us to learn to seek him out no matter what we’re doing. He wants to teach us to look for the lonely and lost as we go down aisle 6. He wants us to talk to him while we fold that 3rd load of sheets. He wants us to work as unto him. He wants us to teach us how to speak in love to our spouses.

All of life, not just the dedicated times, is part of the sanctification process.

I was reminded of Romans 12:1

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

and Deuteronomy 6:6-7

These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

All of life, should be interweaved with our faith, not just the set aside times.

And so, all these mundane tasks that I loathed this weekend, now look like opportunities. Not just to teach my kids life skills, but as spiritual acts of worship and opportunities to work out my salvation.

I don’t know that I’ll ever like grocery shopping, but I’m thankful that God can use even that to show me more of him.

Polka Dots and Coronata Stars

June 10, 2014 by Amy 3 Comments

A year and a half ago, I saw this polka dot wall at The Nester’s place. A year ago, I saw the coronata stars in her laundry room and fell in love. Clearly, I move fast when I think I might like something *ahem* because I finally bought some polka dots and coronata star of my own last month from WallsNeedLove.

The Nester put the coronata stars in the smallest room of her house. I chose the ceiling of our toilet room in the master bedroom first, because it’s the smallest of our home and second, because it’s one of the few ceilings without popcorn.

Maybe it isn’t very master bedroom-ish, I don’t know. What I can tell you is they make me happy every morning.

They’re gold and shimmery. I like that they’re hidden in a small part of our house that rarely anyone else sees. It’s like a hidden star display just for us.

As for the polka dots, even though our house isn’t very polka-dot-ish, I couldn’t say no.

I chose the entry way to display them in a starburst pattern.

Again, they make me happy. They shimmer when the light hits them. It’s especially pretty when it’s mostly dark in the house and a lone ray of light hits them just right. I love walking down the hall and seeing the burst. I told Lexi it’s like someone had a handful of glitter and threw it down our wall.

I tried them in a symmetrical pattern, similar to The Nester’s, and also the raining pattern featured on their site, but that table is centered with the hallway and not the wall so it made them both look off.

The starburst pattern certainly is different, but it’s unique and fits the off-centered table and mirror nicely.

Applying them was as easy as peeling and sticking. I did cut them from the sheet first before peeling and taped them up with painter’s tape so I could arrange them first. You have to be careful peeling the backing off the stars so you don’t tear the points but overall, it really couldn’t have been easier. Scott didn’t even help on this one.

Each room was only $12 and the stickers are completely removable. What’s not to love?

Maybe your Walls Need Love? Pin one of the pictures for later?

This post is not sponsored. It just makes me happy. I did mention that, right?

Three Ways to Dig Yourself Out of a Funk

June 9, 2014 by Amy 12 Comments

I roll out of bed and pad into the kitchen. I want to keep sleeping but time is limited before the party and things need done. I drink my caffeine fix and begin carrying the stray items from the living room to the bedroom where it should be. I clean off the dishes from my desk. The spoon with peanut butter on it, now smeared in a spot. The ice cream bowl with a puddle of melted ice cream. The glass of water still half empty. I gather them in the kitchen sink and sigh when I realize the dishes in the dishwasher are still dirty. I have to run that cycle and then wash the dishes in the sink. I glance over at the pile of sheets in front of the laundry room. Three beds worth high, all making crinkled wrinkles, waiting to be folded.

I don’t want to wash dishes and I don’t want to fold sheets. What’s the point anyway? I’m going to get them all dirty again and then have to do this all again. I’m tired of the cycle.

Scott walks in the kitchen and he’s dressed for a day in the yard. It’s where I should head when the dishes and laundry are done. “I just don’t feel like doing anything today.” He agrees, but he throws his cup in the sink and exits out the garage door to do it all anyway.

I look across the house and see all the things out of place. I think about the dirty bedrooms and the bills that need paid and the errands that need run. I just can’t today. What is the point? We do it all and for what? So we can keep doing the same thing over and over and over?

I sulk back to my bedroom, throw the covers back over myself and turn on The Lizzie Bennet Diaries on YouTube and decide I just can’t. I watch a few more episodes, disappointed when Darcy still hasn’t made an appearance and decide I need to exercise. It’s the last thing I feel like doing but endorphins and all. I need some this morning and it’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?

I manage to get dressed and make it in to the living room. I squat and burpee and think about all the reasons I shouldn’t be having a bad morning. I have a wonderful, hard working husband, two beautiful girls, my dream job, two good cars, I work out every day, have good friends, have sex regularly, I can fit into a size 2 for goodness sakes. Isn’t this what the magazines tell me should make me happy?

I high punch and then squat lower and low punch and I keep punching and punching and punching and as fast as my arms are pumping, my eyes start doling out tears. What is the point? Why am I not happy? Punch, punch, punch. I feel frustrated but feel guilty that I am.

I cry and tell God to help because I can’t today.

He tells me these feelings are good and I’m surprised. He reminds me that it’s true, there is more. There is a place where things don’t get dirty and people don’t feel sad and women don’t cry in the middle of their workout and they don’t even need to workout. It’s a home in heaven and this tension, this emptiness I feel is a reminder that I’m only passing through here. My heart yearns for more because there is more.

“In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. “If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. John 14:2-3

But why? Why do I have to go through all the mundane?

I’m reminded of Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

He has plans and a purpose. It is all pointless without Him. Nothing—not one thing—on this earth can make you happy. I have enough of it all to tell you. That job, those clothes, that house, that bank account, those kids—not one single change will make you happier. Only in Christ and his purpose and hope can do it. If he didn’t have plans for me, I wouldn’t be here. And if I have eternal plans and the mundane is a part of it, I can do it.

I go sit at my desk, my workout, both of my body and tears over, and glance at my desk calendar. Arianne Segerman’s words are a balm.

These chores, these tasks, these burdens carried—they never go unnoticed. Each bead of sweat for God is counted and known… . I want to have my faith pull me into places and heart-positions I never expected. I want to always be reaching. I want to be noticed by the One that holds it all in His hands. I want to build a life of memorials.

Tears threaten again, but they’re happy tears. He sees. He saw. In just minutes, he has given me words to let me know I’m not alone in all this. He’s holding it all together and working it out for good.

Do you ever have days like that? Where you feel depressed and hopeless and just tired of it all? I do. All the time, I do. These three things can help. Remember:

This world is not our home. We aren’t satisfied with this world because we aren’t supposed to be. Let it be a reminder of our eternal hope.
God has a purpose and plan for us while we’re here that yes, includes the mundane too.
God sees all our efforts, even when no one else does. Those tears shed? He’s counting them.

Maybe my Saturday is your Monday today. Take heart. It’s not just me and it’s not just you. We’re in this together.

A Dog and a Little Person

June 6, 2014 by Amy 3 Comments

A little funny for your Friday staring my nephew and parents’ dog Luke.

What is this little person with a spoon and no clothes?

Pst, I don’t have to talk to him, right?

What is that face you’re making?

I can’t do it.

I refuse.

That cracks me up every time I read it. Even though his looks tell a different story, Luke is actually extremely affectionate with people (and who couldn’t love that little person!) Actually, now that I think of it, Luke was probably miffed because he wasn’t petting him. Love you, Lukey!

Updated with A Dog and a Little Person, Version 2.0:

My mom had to do a version to show what Luke was REALLY thinking.

I’m sitting here real pretty for you to pet me.

Uhhh, hello, I’m still here. You’re not petting me!

Love the face, kid, but you’re still not petting me!

Mooom, he’s not petting me!

Maybe if I ignore him, he’ll want to pet me!

Yep, that’s our Luke!

Are We All God’s Children?

June 5, 2014 by Amy Leave a Comment

I’ve been thinking a lot about adoption lately. And not just about our adoption, but our spiritual adoption as Christians.

There’s a child somewhere that we will eventually adopt, but right now he’s not a part of our family. We don’t call that child our son yet and we don’t treat him as our son. We have to go through the adoption process and then we will begin grafting him into our family. We will begin doing all the things that parents do.

Even though an adult doesn’t give birth to a child, when he provides for, protects, trains, teaches, looks after, favors and advocates for that child, then that makes him the child’s parent.

But it is the adoption that is the turning point. At one time he is not our child, the adoption happens and then he is our child.

I thought about the implications of that spiritually and realized there’s a statement that gets tossed around that’s simply false: We’re all God’s children.

We’re not. We are not all God’s children.

Yes, we are all created by him and loved by him. Isaiah 30 even says he longs to be gracious to us. But that does not immediately make us his children, just as a biological father is not necessarily the one to actually parent a child.

I started thinking on this because those feel like strong words. It feels icky to think about one person being in while another one gets left out. It doesn’t feel very loving to say you’re not a child of God.

I started doing some reading in the Bible to see what it has to say.

First, let’s see the concept of adoption. We know adoption simply means that at one time a person is not a part of a family and then at some time, he is.

Ephesians 1:5 says, “In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.”

This confirms the idea of spiritual adoption and explains that it comes through Jesus Christ.

Jesus himself explains this spiritual adoption as a spiritual rebirth in John 3 “No one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit give birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’”

Romans 8 explains who children of God are by saying “…those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father’. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

So, not only do we become children of God through faith in Christ, but the Holy Spirit helps us know that we are children of God.

1 John 3 really drives home the point, though, “No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.”

And so, this is telling us some people are children of God and some are children of the devil. Those are hard words!!

So why do I bring this up? It seems sort of depressing, right?

Well, in an attempt to be accepting and loving to everyone, I think our culture many times has either replaced the gospel message or simply forgotten how powerful it is. The gospel says we must be adopted into God’s family through faith in Christ to be a child of God.

As Christians, we need to be aware of that truth first (and rejoice) and then, that should burden us to share the true gospel!

Romans 10:9 says, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

That’s the turning point and the good news! It’s EASY to be adopted into God’s family. No paperwork, no interviews, no money. When we believe, we are grafted into God’s family. God is then the one that spiritually feeds us, protects us, His word trains us, His Spirit teaches us, Christ goes before the Father to advocate for us. He becomes our Abba Father. And we can know it.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God. 1 John 3:1

On 5th Grade Graduation

June 4, 2014 by Amy 2 Comments

It’s the night before her 5th grade graduation and I throw myself on her bed, “You’re going to be a middle schooler!”

“Yeah,” she responds as a matter of fact. She laughs and plops her iPod down on the bed. “You need to read these, they are so funny.”

“Teenager Posts”, the images are labeled on Pinterest. I read through a few.

#5410 “Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the things I thought I lost.”

#18599 “Saying, ‘I hate this song!’ then start singing every lyric.”

I laugh, remembering Jen Hatmaker’s words about teens just a few days ago.

“The weird thing is, those tiny sweet precious littles you are raising? The teens are the same people, just bigger. That humor? Same. That personality? Same. Those tendencies and leanings and giftings? Same. Your quirky 6-year-old who loves science and animal husbandry? Same, he just gets bigger with a lower voice.
Stop imagining that aliens will take over your darling preschooler at age 13.”

I think back to how sad I was at preschool graduation. Like, I could barely hold myself together so I wouldn’t bawl at them singing “I am a Promise.” I remember how much we struggled about whether to send her to private school or public school. We were so worried about putting her in the right environment to flourish. And then, how hard letting her go to Kindergarten was. I was terrified she wouldn’t have any help opening her milk carton.

I feel like I should be sad that we’re finishing elementary school and be panicky about middle school, but I can’t be. Elementary school has been simply a gift.

Yeah, we struggled through making a penguin, multiplication facts, spelling lists and the unending packing of lunches (kill me now), but the teachers she’s had and the friends she’s made, has been nothing but a joy. Not every kid has that experience and my heart aches for them, but we have to celebrate where we can and that’s what we’re doing today.

She’s had the best teachers and the best friends and the best education and you know, I’m simply excited for who my little Emma is becoming. She’s the same little Emma she was at 5 when she started, but also a new little Emma we’re watching bloom.

I’ve spent so many years being scared of the next step. I was scared of middle school before she’d even started kindergarten. If I’ve learned anything these past 6 years it’s that we don’t have to be anxious about 10 steps from now, we just have to be ready to take the next one. And we are.

Congratulations, my sweet girl.

In Which She Returns

June 3, 2014 by Amy 5 Comments

Hi!

I’m back.

It’s been a whole month since I announced I was taking a bit of a blogging break and I’m thrilled to finally be back. It turned out to be quite a month and I tell you all about it in the video below:

For those unable to view video, here’s the cliff notes:

I needed the break more than I realized it when I took it. I did need a social media break, but I think there was a bit more.

First, we ended up spending the entire month, up until Memorial Day weekend installing our new above ground pool. Our other one died last fall and we decided to replace it ourselves (mistake). We had so much rain. What really should have taken an afternoon or two took weeks. Scott even got a big gash one Saturday we were working on it and had to get 8 stitches at the emergency room! It never seemed to end. But finally, we are done and I have to say it turned out really, really well and I’m super proud of all the work and very, very grateful for great family and neighbors that helped.

Here is one of many moments of Scott shoveling sand.

Here is my ah-dorable great nephew enjoying it on Memorial Day.

Second, just a day or two after I announced our break, we got a “lead” on a child to foster and adopt. Unfortunately, we found out just today that we were not the family chosen for him. However, we spent the entire month preparing for the possibility we’d have someone with us in mid-June. Of course we were preparing emotionally, but also we were starting to get the house in order to make the play room into the bedroom. We also were crossing off punch-list items around the house that had been building up while we were working on the pool.

While we are very disappointed the adoption isn’t moving forward, I trust fully that God has it under control and that we will meet our child one day.

Somewhere in mid-May I had Psalm 91:4 come to mind, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge.” I have no doubts God knew to put us in a little bubble this past month where we could concentrate on the tasks at hand.

So, thank you for letting me take a break and coming back. And please, if you’re feeling burned out yourself, it’s ok to take a break. Shut down the laptop and the phone. Turn off the TV. Say no to a few people and get some rest. We are all better mothers, daughter, sisters, friends when we invest in our emotional and mental health by resting.

And ya’ll, I’m glad to be back.

Fly a Little Higher

May 8, 2014 by Amy 1 Comment

It’s last February and my daughter and her friend come in the house with great drama, “Mom, you have to download this song. We heard it on CNN Student News today. This guy Zach Sobiech has cancer and wrote this song called Clouds. It is sooo sad!”

I hear Zach singing the catchy chorus, “Up, up, up” and my heart bends to the joyful sorrow of the song.

A few months go by and we stop for a moment to grieve when we learn of his death. So young, so talented, so joyful.

It’s a month ago and I get an email with an announcement that Zach’s mother Laura Sobiech has released a book called Fly a Little Higher and they want to know if I want to read and review it. I jump at the chance.

It’s Tuesday and I’m on page 283 of a 325 page book and Laura talks in passing about the song being featured on CNN Student News, creating even more media attention that it already had. By this time, Zach is very sick and they are near the end of their journey, this journey I’ve been traveling with them through the book. At this time, they are ignoring much of the Internet buzz just because there are so many hateful people with unhelpful suggestions and they are intent on spending their last days in peace together. Laura says,

Whatever was going on in cyberspace didn’t have much to do with what was going on in real life.

I wrote my post Tuesday and read this line late Wednesday. It hits me hard.

I cry when he dies at the end.

I’ve known the end since the beginning, but experiencing it with them, it breaks your heart.

And yet.

They had so much hope, so much strength in Christ, so much love for one another. It was beautiful to watch it unfold.

One of the only reasons the Sobiech family agreed to share the song and so much media was to raise awareness and money to help save others with cancer. In fact, Laura’s prayer when she found out Zach was terminal was that if he did indeed take Zach, that God would do something BIG with it. Given the success of the song and story, I’d say God is answering in abundance.

If you want to be a part of this answer to prayer, download the song, buy the book or donate to the cause. And more importantly, heed Zach’s wisdom:

You don’t have to find out you’re dying…to start living. –Zach Sobiech

This post is part of the Fly a Little Higher Blog Tour with hundreds of bloggers raising awareness and giving hope to those with cancer. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!